Whilst everyone hopes that their wedding planning goes as smoothly and stress-free as possible, unfortunately it is not always the case. But you can save yourself some of the stress by planning ahead for any possible problems, and identifying them before they occur. If issues do arise then you want to be able to tackle them as swiftly and easy as possible, so below I have written a list of the most common issues I’ve seen wedding couples have, and how they have been dealt with. Of course, hopefully none of these happen to you, but should they occur, here are some ways to handle them.

How To Handle Family Disputes

In the majority of cases, conflicts are minor when planning a wedding, but what if a decision has been made that is creating a rift in your family?

Compromise on the small things- if there is something low on your list of priorities that is really important to your parents, you can compromise by letting them handle it. That way you waste no more time and effort on it, whilst keeping them happy. If there is a more serious argument though, or you are finding family members are becoming too involved, really the only way forward is to sit down and have an open and honest chat with all involved (or chat with each person separately if needs be). Kindly and politely explain that whilst you appreciate everyone’s contributions, it is your day and you as a couple need to be handling the majority of the decision-making.

How To Stop Parents ‘Taking Over’

Parents are often keen to help out, both financially and with the planning process. This doesn’t necessarily entitle them to make decisions but at the same time you want to be respectful to their opinions. Whatever is offered to you (whether you want it or not) it’s important to be grateful. Make sure you make time to listen to their ideas (again, whether you agree with them or not) but if you are very set in what you want then you must set firm boundaries and expectations as early on as possible, preferably before any monetary offers. If it’s too late for that, then you may need to find certain areas to compromise on if those areas are causing a particular issue, or it might be time to sit down and have an open and frank discussion about what each of you expects from each other.

You Have Very Different Ideas On Your Style Of Dress To Everyone Else

First of all it’s important to remember that fashion changes significantly over the years. So something your grandma thinks is fashionable may be awful to you, and visa versa. If you know you are likely to encounter any issues when dress shopping, there are a few things you can do. Firstly, try to limit how many people you bring with you to your appointment. The more people in the room, the more opinions there will be, and the opinions will often differ. This will lead to confusion and it will make it a lot harder to find the perfect dress. Therefore you should limit your guests to a small amount of very close friends or family, whom you know will make the experience more positive for you. This is the last place you need any negativity. If there’s no avoiding the differing opinions then you can make a compromise. If you have your heart set on a mermaid dress but your mum wants you in a ball gown, don’t fight it- just try both. After all, you don’t know for sure until you try, and you may surprise yourself! If you have found ‘the one’ and are still encountering issues, then always try the dress with a veil. A lot of the time people don’t agree with the choice of dress as they don’t believe it to be ‘bridal’ enough, but putting on a veil automatically makes everyone imagine you walking down the aisle, and you would have to have a heart of stone not to get even slightly emotional about that!

Juggling Correspondence

You may think you can handle all the various emails to wedding vendors on your personal or work email account, but let me assure you, unless you are having a tiny wedding, you will start to loose track of them all. So I would strongly advise creating a new email just for the wedding. You can use this email for all your wedding related enquiries and emails, as well as using it for signing up to wedding fairs. This way everything will be in one place and you won’t have to go trawling through all your work and junk emails to find the wedding ones. You can go the same route with payments as well by opening a bank account for the wedding where you can manage vendor payments and also allow guests to pay into it if you have a honeymoon fund etc.

If you are way past this point and starting to struggle, you can create folders within your email account so you can at least split up the wedding emails from your work/personal ones. If you are unsure of how to do this, alternatively you can also simply screenshot all of your wedding emails and save them to a folder on your phone or computer.

Hiring Family And Friends Instead Of Pros

Unless you are going for a completely DIY wedding with everyone pitching in to help, it is definitely recommended that you hire a professional wedding vendor over a family member or friend, regardless of budget. Unless your friend is a professional florist, don’t ask them to do your flowers just because ‘they are good at it’. A lot of people will be very excited about your wedding and will offer to help you wherever they can and it can be very tempting to take them up on this, but a lot of the time people will offer their services without fully thinking through what this will entail, therefore leading to problems down the line. You don’t want to get to a week before your wedding and find out that the friend who offered to do your cake can no longer do it because they are overwhelmed with how much preparation goes into it. Plus you want all your family and friends to enjoy the day fully, and not have to worry about any responsibilities or obligations.

If you are already in this position and have accepted an offer of help that you are having second thoughts about, there are a couple of ways to handle it. You could be open and honest with the person and explain that you have found someone else who is a professional, and whilst you appreciate their offer, you would rather they be able to fully enjoy your wedding instead. Or if this fills you with anxiety, you could simply say that you have been ‘gifted’ a wedding vendor instead. For example, say your friend offers to do your evening music for you and you no longer want to take them up on the offer, you could say that someone has bought you a band or wedding DJ as their wedding gift to you without realizing that this friend had already offered to do it. It may be a little dishonest, but it could provide a way of rejecting someone’s offer without hurting his or her feelings.

You Don’t Want Children At Your Wedding

Some couple’s can’t imagine having their day without little ones joining in, but if you dream of having an adult-only affair, this can lead to potential issues, especially if you go about it the wrong way. Decide what it most important to you- it is key to remember that some of your guests may not be able to come if they cannot bring their children. If this presents an issue, you could compromise by having a safe space at the venue for the children to play in whilst the parents can have fun, or you could even look into hiring a sitter to come to the venue to supervise any children. If you are set on having an adults-only affair though, then there are a few ways to tackle this.

Be clear from the get-go and make sure your guests are well aware as far in advance as possible. You can put a note on your save the date or invites about it being an adult celebration and whilst you love their little ones, your wedding won’t be the ideal place for them. You should also be very specific about who is invited on the invitations too and if in doubt, write your guests names on the rsvp for them so there is no confusion as to who is invited. If this will directly affect any close family members it would be wise to sit down and talk with them beforehand to explain your reasons so they aren’t offended.

You’ve Gone Over Budget

A common problem, but one that can be easily managed. Start off by working out what your total budget should be, whether this be by working out how much you can both save each month before the wedding date or if you will have any outside contributions from family. Once you’ve worked out your total limit, you need to work out your priorities. Decide what it most important to you both about the day. For example, if the photography, the food and the dancing are the most important aspects of the day for you, get quotes for those things first, then distribute the rest of your budget around everything else. This way you won’t have to cut back on the most important things. Stay strong with your budget throughout though; if you know you will be going over budget on one aspect of the wedding, find where you can save costs elsewhere before committing to it. It is also recommended that you put aside at least 5% of your budget for contingencies. After all, there’s bound to be something you’ve forgotten to factor in, and you don’t want to get caught out paying extra for essential things you can no longer afford because you went £500 over-budget on your dress!

Hopefully this list was helpful and has given you some reassurance on what to do if these situations occur. Just remember that regardless of what happens, at the end of the day you are marrying the person you love, and that really is all that truly matters. Happy planning!

All images in this post are copyright (c) of Aby-Joanne Photography.

Common Issues Couples Encounter When Planning Their Wedding